Emotions

So me being me did the most stupid thing today knowing that my emotions are not in check. I watched PS I Love You..Girls you know what I mean. I was just wondering does anyone really live a full lifetime. Do we really do all the things we want to do. Do we really love enough. Cause I really dont think so. I know that my disease has a cure. But some dont. Maybe its all the what if''s that keep floating around my house and my husband watching my every move. Like it is my last... Dont get me wrong I know that this man loves me and I am very grateful. But I cant help but fill you all in on a secret. He is scared to death. He tries to be so strong for me. I am proud of him for that but latley he is slipping and saying things like what am I gonna do or I cant do this without you. It has wondering if he is really really scared .... And I know I am scared... He just doesnt seem like John...Makes me sad...To see the one person I love most in the world hurting..