Update

So not much has changed. I go in for a full biopsy on the 20th of this month. They want to pin point what is infected and what is not so we can start treatments on the right parts rather than my whole body! Its the waiting part that kills me. I have started antibiotics for now to keep me from getting to sick. Although they make me sick for a few days its better than nothing. Other than me being sick, alot is gojng on in our lives.... Logging has slowed down..They are only running 2 weeks a month now. Sucks, alot. so John only works 2 weeks. One on and One off. It gives him more time at home and more time at the fire dept which he likes, it just dont help out bills! we also have recenlty decide not to go forth with the adoption due to a number of things including my illness. I have a hard time just with myself its not fair to them as well as some other things going on. It was a very very tough decision but one we hade to make for ourselves, our marriage and my health. I think or atleast I would like to think we are doing the right thing..I am not sure anymore since I am torn emotionally... I have to think of myself, my health and my marriage. Its hard when you love 2 things at once but can only have one. John has been put through hell with accusations and investigations. Its not fair to him to have to put up with it. He is a good man.... Other than that nothing new. I am getting ready to celebrate my 25th birthday! Old I know. And our anniversary is coming up...So there are things to look forward too. For now I leave with a few of my favorite quotes!


"If you run from something it only stays with you longer if you fight something it only makes you stronger"

"Life isint about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

"One of the toughest parts in life is deciding when to give up and when to try harder"

"Letting go doesnt mean giving up, it means accepting that some things werent meant to be"

A nurse at the cancer center told me this when I was at my first appt. I wrote it down and I keep it with me at each appt!

"THE ONLY THING BETWEEN THE IMPOSSIBLE AND THE POSSIBLE IS SELF DETERMINATION AND MOTIVATION"