Monday, April 6, 2009

Recovering from surgery

So I had surgery on Friday April 3rd at 7 am. I checked in to the hospital at 5:30 am. I was in surgery till 9 am. They removed a pound of cancer from my cervix. I had no idea it had spread that far. It was only 3 layers deep but covered everything. There is a little more in three so I still have to go in and get freeze treatments to burn the area so it don't grow back. I get my stitches out on Monday. the 13th. That will be nice! Other than that it all went well. I am moving better today. Still sore and my stitches on my lower incision keep busting! Ah well... Thank you to all of you who supported me and were thinking of us during my surgery. I am just glad its over and I can get back to life...

Have a wonderful day!

John and Danielle

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Its been a while since I last updated this. Well for starters first thing first we no longer have Nevaeh and Kamerin. They were placed in a new home with a family who intend to adopt them. They have other kids to play with and they are very happy. Second, I had a IUD placed a few months ago and got one hell of an infection from that so they had to do am emergency removal of that, What a fun time! Um Third, I am scheduled for Surgery on April 3rd. They are going to take out the infected parts, do some treatments and tie my tubes. Then in 6 months if I desire they will do a complete hystro. We will have to wait and see. That's about all the news I have. I will try me best to keep everyone informed on whats going on. Things have been crazy with the kids leaving and Dr appt. after Dr appt. Hope all is well with everyone!

Monday, February 16, 2009

So we went to the beach last weekend. It was amazing and fun. I took some good pictures of a rainbow on the way home. Check them out. I go in for surgery on friday! Wish me luck....I will post when I get home and feel better!



Monday, February 9, 2009


"Love is not about finding somebody who is flawless. Love is about finding somebody with a good many flaws and loving each and every flaw as if it were a quality

"Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be."

"The thought of being with you tomorrow gives me the strength to go on today."

"Love is like diving headfirst into the unknown, and yet not being afraid to hit the pavement."

"Thinking you are in love is torture; knowing you are in love is comforting; feeling you are in love is to truly be alive."

"When I wake up, turn over, and see you lying next me, I can't help but smile; it will be a good day simply because I started it with you."

"It doesn't make me feel as though you are far away from me when we are looking at the same moon." --

"The passions of love ignite, the emotions of love kindle, but the actions of love set the heart ablaze." –

"I'd rather be missing you than loving someone else

"Love makes the strongest man weak and the weakest heart strong."

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met

"You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth."

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

"Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones."

A gift may not be able to represent how deep a person is in love with you, but one thing is certain, a person who never gives will never be able to take

The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ...."

"When you love, there's no such thing as loving a little, but loving all the way. Love may not ask you to give up your life, but it will require lots of sacrifices

The higher you climb on love's ladder; the harder you fall."

If love is not worth waiting for, it's not worth having."

Love is a journey not a destination

"Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart."

A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out."

"Forever is not a word...rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime

"If I had to count the reasons why I love you and why I'm so in love with you...I'd have to count forever."

"Marriage is more than the entanglement of two hearts, it is the entwining of two lives, forever."

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities."

"Love is not sweet talks and flowers, but love is forgiving and compromising."

"Falling in love is easy, staying in love requires work."

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person."

"The easiest part of marriage is falling in love and walking down the aisle. The most difficult part of marriage is 10 years later when the problems have ensued and issues have come about and you still find love. Marriage is not about the beginning, marriage is about the process and still being able to love through all things."

'Don't ever stop dating your wife.' and 'Don't ever stop flirting with your husband.'"

"Determination is the key to a successful marriage."

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

"Choosing a love, and then, being strong enough to live up to your commitment of love is the essence of love."

"I want you around in the morning and I want to know you're legally required to be there."

"Marriage is not only the beginning of a relationship but also the end of a life long search for the other half of your soul."

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."

"Love is friendship set on fire."

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart.

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.""

Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."

"Happiness is being married to your best friend."

"If you love the one you're with you shouldn't dwell on "Firsts" shared with another, for there are a lifetime of "Firsts" to spend on the one you love."

"When loving someone never regret what you do. Only regret what you didn't do."

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."

"What is Marriage? It is the mixture of communication, patience, love, sharing, praying and smiles to create happiness and prosperity."

"The most difficult year of marriage is the one you're in."

"A successful marriage requires fallings in love many times, always with the same person."

"Real love is when you go through the toughest storm and find yourself still holding hands when you come out."

"Infatuation and intimacy ignites love; commitment makes the flame keeps on burning."

"Missing you is my hobby, caring for you is my job, making you happy is my duty, and loving you is my life."

"Don't marry a person you can live with; marry somebody you can't live without."

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

"A successful marriage is not finding the right person, but it is being the right person."

"'Where's home for you?' a stranger asked a fellow traveler. 'Wherever she is,' came the reply, as the man pointed at his wife."

"Love is knowing you will spend every day, of every week, of every month, of every season, of every year for the rest of your life with this person, and thinking, 'This is exactly what I want.'"

"It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt."

"Multiply it by infinity, take it to the depths of forever and you'll still only have a glimpse of how much I love you."

"831 means 'I Love You'8 letters3 words1 meaning."

"The more I know you, the more I love you."

"I love you without reason and that is reason enough."

"Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it'scalled falling in love, because you don't forceyourself to fall, you just fall"

"It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,an hour to like someone and a day to love someone...but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"

"Do you love me because I am beautifulor am I beautiful because I am loved"

"To the world you may be just one person,but to one person you may be the world"

"Love, true love, is that which can give the mostwithout asking or demanding anything in return"

"Love... What is love? Love is to love someonefor who they are, who they were, and who they will be"

"It doesn't take a reason to love someone,but it does to like someone. You don't lovesomeone because you want to, you love someonebecause you are destined too. It's because youfall in Love with them, that you then try tofind a reason"

"Love is not sweet talks and flowers, but love is forgiving and compromising."

"Love is not measured by how you feel, but how you make the other person feel."

"Love is never having to say you're sorry

"The things that people in love do to each other they remember, and if they stay together it's not because they forget, it's because they forgive."

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying"

"The way to love anything is to realize it may be lost"

"A loving wife makes a loving husband"

"When I see you the world stops as if my only purpose in life is to please you"

"If you don’t like something change it if you cant change it change your attitude"

"Love is the master key that opens the gate to happiness"

"Wisdom leads us to all purposeful relationships"

"If you love somebody I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much"

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose"

"Forgiveness is a promise not a feeling"

"Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean the don’t love you with all they have"

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear"

"Don’t misuse the love you receive"

"Don’t take love for granted"

"Always maintain a sense of balance"

"If you are leading the race, don’t turn around"

"If you can learn from failure, you’ll be able to lead the way"

"The best relationship contains in itself the most precious friendship"

"If you feel that it is necessary to stand"

"Love deeply and passionately you might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely"

"A friend is someone who knows all about me likes me for who I am, and has no plans for my personal improvement"

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt but only more love"

"Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future"

Monday, February 2, 2009


So not much has changed. I go in for a full biopsy on the 20th of this month. They want to pin point what is infected and what is not so we can start treatments on the right parts rather than my whole body! Its the waiting part that kills me. I have started antibiotics for now to keep me from getting to sick. Although they make me sick for a few days its better than nothing. Other than me being sick, alot is gojng on in our lives.... Logging has slowed down..They are only running 2 weeks a month now. Sucks, alot. so John only works 2 weeks. One on and One off. It gives him more time at home and more time at the fire dept which he likes, it just dont help out bills! we also have recenlty decide not to go forth with the adoption due to a number of things including my illness. I have a hard time just with myself its not fair to them as well as some other things going on. It was a very very tough decision but one we hade to make for ourselves, our marriage and my health. I think or atleast I would like to think we are doing the right thing..I am not sure anymore since I am torn emotionally... I have to think of myself, my health and my marriage. Its hard when you love 2 things at once but can only have one. John has been put through hell with accusations and investigations. Its not fair to him to have to put up with it. He is a good man.... Other than that nothing new. I am getting ready to celebrate my 25th birthday! Old I know. And our anniversary is coming up...So there are things to look forward too. For now I leave with a few of my favorite quotes!

"If you run from something it only stays with you longer if you fight something it only makes you stronger"

"Life isint about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

"One of the toughest parts in life is deciding when to give up and when to try harder"

"Letting go doesnt mean giving up, it means accepting that some things werent meant to be"

A nurse at the cancer center told me this when I was at my first appt. I wrote it down and I keep it with me at each appt!


Wednesday, January 28, 2009


So me being me did the most stupid thing today knowing that my emotions are not in check. I watched PS I Love You..Girls you know what I mean. I was just wondering does anyone really live a full lifetime. Do we really do all the things we want to do. Do we really love enough. Cause I really dont think so. I know that my disease has a cure. But some dont. Maybe its all the what if''s that keep floating around my house and my husband watching my every move. Like it is my last... Dont get me wrong I know that this man loves me and I am very grateful. But I cant help but fill you all in on a secret. He is scared to death. He tries to be so strong for me. I am proud of him for that but latley he is slipping and saying things like what am I gonna do or I cant do this without you. It has wondering if he is really really scared .... And I know I am scared... He just doesnt seem like John...Makes me sad...To see the one person I love most in the world hurting..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


So as most of you know my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 3 years now. Not so easy for us. I went to the dr not to long ago for some blood work. Well it didnt come back in my favor....I am trying to understand why things keep happening to me. They say god challenges those who can handle a challenge. Well come on this is more than I can handle. Thank you to all of you who are sending prayers and thinking about us. I am a strong person and my husband well he is my husband and I love him. I just cant help but think I have not had enough time with him. If something should happen to me, I am not ready to let him go. I want my lifetime, my forever he promised! He is not gonna get away this easy. I may be sick but I still have a sense of humor...right Mary!!!! Seriously thank you all for the smiles and the laughs..Its needed these days!

For Now...