Wednesday, January 28, 2009


So me being me did the most stupid thing today knowing that my emotions are not in check. I watched PS I Love You..Girls you know what I mean. I was just wondering does anyone really live a full lifetime. Do we really do all the things we want to do. Do we really love enough. Cause I really dont think so. I know that my disease has a cure. But some dont. Maybe its all the what if''s that keep floating around my house and my husband watching my every move. Like it is my last... Dont get me wrong I know that this man loves me and I am very grateful. But I cant help but fill you all in on a secret. He is scared to death. He tries to be so strong for me. I am proud of him for that but latley he is slipping and saying things like what am I gonna do or I cant do this without you. It has wondering if he is really really scared .... And I know I am scared... He just doesnt seem like John...Makes me sad...To see the one person I love most in the world hurting..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


So as most of you know my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 3 years now. Not so easy for us. I went to the dr not to long ago for some blood work. Well it didnt come back in my favor....I am trying to understand why things keep happening to me. They say god challenges those who can handle a challenge. Well come on this is more than I can handle. Thank you to all of you who are sending prayers and thinking about us. I am a strong person and my husband well he is my husband and I love him. I just cant help but think I have not had enough time with him. If something should happen to me, I am not ready to let him go. I want my lifetime, my forever he promised! He is not gonna get away this easy. I may be sick but I still have a sense of humor...right Mary!!!! Seriously thank you all for the smiles and the laughs..Its needed these days!

For Now...